How many of you have that inner critic?
That one inside your head that’s just like “What are you doing? I can’t believe you are so stupid! How did you mess that up? What were you thinking when you did that?” right?
How many of us have that inner critic? Raise your hand. And you’re just like “yes!” Me, I call them My Committee because I’ve certainly got more than one of them. I’ve got one with a clipboard that’s keeping track of everything I do and don’t do and I’ve got another one that’s like “bills are due” and it’s just a whole host of them for me. I don’t know what it’s like for anybody else but almost everyone in the planet can identify with that inner critic.
But I’ve got a big secret about your inner critic. Your inner critic is your inner child in disguise. I remember when this hit me for the first time. I was listening to a video and watched a therapist working with a client and they were talking to the critic and all the sudden it hit me like “Oh my God! Our inner critic is our inner children, pretending to be grown up because emotionally the reasons for doing things were just way over simplified and it became really apparent now.
It’s like “This is mind-blowing!” right because one of my big things.
So there’s this committee and they’re doing all this stuff in your head and the best thing is that we have an opportunity to change what we do in our head to ourselves, all right. Like I said, you can borrow my faith for a while, you can borrow me as a cheerleader or help you be able to reframe—what their job is, you know?
Be like, “Hey, look! Miss Clipboard! Love you so much.
Can you remind me in a pleasant way or can we make it a game or something,” you know? Find a way to make it fun, find a way to help sort of give them a new job description. Like—you know, every time you’re nice to me about this and the timing is relevant, we’ll go get ice cream, or go to the movies, we’ll do something fun, right? Well, read for fifteen minutes outside—whatever it is, however you want to reward yourself on the inside. Find a way to help get the committee back on your side and make them your inner critics and into allies instead. That’s what’s really important. So we’re going to go from “critic! Oh my gosh!
You’re saying such horrible things” to “hey! I recognize you. You’re my inner child. And you’re motivated by particular things—you actually want to help, right?” And then reframing how we get them to help and when, right. Giving them sort of like a little job description. And then finding a reward system for ourselves, rewarding ourselves for doing a good job. And that really helps bring down that whole “na-na-na-na-na” that most of us can’t stand in our heads. So, I hope you found this useful today and just remember I believe in you and I believe in your inner critic can become your inner ally.